Mind reading and sensory overload – is this why our kids behave the way they do?

Psychology Today, in its article on mind reading, writes that we mind read stuff into others, in an ongoing fashion.

“It’s the way we make sense of other people’s behavior and decide on our own next moves. Mind reading enables us to negotiate, compete, cooperate, and achieve emotional closeness with others. It lets us figure out when we’re being manipulated or seduced. It’s how we know when someone finds our jokes hilarious or is humoring us out of politeness. Mind-reading ability is perhaps the most urgent element of social intelligence.”

But they also indicate that in today’s society, the “mind-reading ability is now on the decline in our culture. Today’s obsessed-with-success parents spend so much time stimulating their children with structured activities, noisy toys, and Baby Einstein DVDs, they are not sitting still and being “present” with their kids. As a result, they deny children the opportunity to learn how to get in tune with another person, physically and emotionally—that is, to develop mindsight. A reasonable degree of mindsight is required, he says, for a civil society in which adults are kind to one another.”

It sounds true to me, and I have the feeling that there might be an explanation for many of the sort of social ills that we encounter. Just think of the many nurseries where children are flooded with sensory input to stimulate their brains. Only toy, less personal involvement with others. Or the number of times, a child sits in front of the TV.

There are also video games that associate the individual into the game and gives us a feeling as if we were part of the game – just think of Doom, and how it feels when you shoot people from 1st position, instead of from a figure inside the game’s setting. The brain cannot distinguish between real and imaginary events, thus, we actually train our brain to withstand aversion against violence, and somewhat condone it, or train the brain up to be more violent if tasked to do.

All in all, I believe we get the children that we deserve. As society or parents. NLP has a couple of convenient beliefs as to how we are looking at the world. One is stating that “The Outcome of the Communication is the Result you get.” Now – change this into “”The Outcome of the Education is the Child you get.” If you are not happy, you need to change the way to go about it. Behavioural flexibility, so to speak.

Because, there are “no resistant children, only inflexible parents.” How is that for a NLP Presupposition?


Andreas is the founder of Asia Mind Dynamics and a certified trainer of internationally recognised certification programmes:

  • Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) with the American Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming (ABNLP),
  • NLP Coach Training with the Coaching Division of ABNLP,
  • The Words That Change Minds -Language and Behaviour Profile of which he also is one of 17 Global Master Trainers
  • Creating Your Future Coaching™ Techniques at the Masters Level with the International Timeline Therapy Association
  • Hypnosis with the American Board of Hypnotherapy (ABH)
  • Master Trainer with the International Association of Counsellors and Therapists (IACT).

We also train companies to achieve higher performance especially through our signature programmes on Leadership, Sales and Advanced Communications.

To find out more about us or our programme and what makes us so very different as trainer and coaches, send an email to andreas.dorn AT gmail.com or contact us at +6012 287 5048.

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